Chapter 93. Your Majesty, I No Longer Wish to Be the Idle Prince

Late that night, in the Quiet Study of Prince Jun’s manor, Zhao Chengxian shut himself away after Yue’er’s funeral and remained there for three or four straight days. No matter how anyone tried to persuade him, he would not listen. Losing Yue’er had truly dealt him a devastating blow. That day, the Dowager Princess sent Xuan Yuanren to speak to him. Only then did the Dowager Princess realize that her son had long since developed deep feelings for Hui Yue’er. No wonder he had ignored the three side consorts for the past few months. So that was why. She did not especially like Hui Yue’er, but seeing her son like this still made her heart ache.

Xuan Yuanren came to Prince Jun’s manor in plain clothes. Though he was somewhat angry that Zhao Chengxian had concealed his relationship with Yue’er from him, hearing from the Dowager Princess that Zhao had fallen into such utter despair still left him deeply distressed. So he came, hoping to shake Zhao Chengxian back to his senses with a scolding. He knocked on the door of the Quiet Study, but there was no answer from within. In the end, Xuan Yuanren simply pushed the door open and went in. He lit the lamp first, then saw Zhao Chengxian slumped disconsolately in the chair behind the desk, staring blankly, his face overgrown with a rough beard. He looked like a ragged wanderer; all his former composure and elegance were gone. Xuan Yuanren strode over, hauled him up in one fierce motion, and landed a muffled punch. Looking down at Zhao Chengxian as he fell to the floor, he said, “How could Yue’er fall in love with a coward like you, someone who never dares face trouble head-on? Get up. Get up and hit me back. If you don’t think you’re a coward, then get up right now. If you still want Yue’er to know she did not love the wrong man, then stand up. Get up. Get up now...”

When a man tries to rouse his brother-in-arms, his method is sometimes rather strange. He does not talk it out properly; he fights. Yet this kind of method is often more effective than persuasion. Perhaps he wanted to give Zhao Chengxian back his fighting spirit, or perhaps he wanted Zhao Chengxian to vent his pain. If he did not truly regard Zhao Chengxian as a friend and brother, how could the ruler of a nation come here and ask to be hit?

At that moment, Zhao Chengxian was like a wounded beast. He fixed Xuan Yuanren with a deathly stare, blood still at the corner of his mouth. He lunged forward, seized Xuan Yuanren’s robe with his left hand, and raised his right fist. His savage glare made it seem as though he had lost all reason. Fortunately, no one else was nearby, or else he would never have escaped the charge of insubordination. In the end, the last shred of reason remaining in his mind kept his fist from smashing into Xuan Yuanren’s face. Zhao Chengxian sank to the ground.

Xuan Yuanren sat down as well, patted Zhao Chengxian on the shoulder, and said, “I understand how you feel. But the dead cannot return. You would want Yue’er to leave this world in peace too, wouldn’t you? Don’t go on like this. Pull yourself together. Leave the wounds to time.”

Only then did Xuan Yuanren realize that what he felt for Yue’er was not love at all, merely a passing impulse. Seeing Zhao Chengxian in such a state made him understand that he had only ever held a little fondness for Yue’er, nothing like the resolve to guard her for a lifetime.

After a long silence, Zhao Chengxian finally spoke slowly. “Your Majesty, I do not wish to remain an idle prince anymore. Can you assign me the busiest work you have?”

Remaining in Prince Jun’s manor meant that every moment would remind him of Yue’er, so he wanted to throw himself into work. Perhaps that would ease the pain a little. He wanted to flee from his longing for Yue’er, yet there are some things: the more one tries to avoid them, the more clearly one proves they can never be forgotten.

Xuan Yuanren nodded. “Very well. Tomorrow, report to the office responsible for compiling the History of Tang. And remember to tidy up your appearance. Don’t make people think I’ve sent a beggar to help them.”

With that, he rose and left. He had fulfilled the promise he made to the Dowager Princess. From that day on, Zhao Chengxian wandered from one department to another. Wherever the work was busiest, he went there. He rarely returned to the manor. Even when he did return, it was only to share a meal with the Dowager Princess before leaving again. The three side consorts scarcely ever saw him.

In a dream.

Jade Serenity Courtyard was a small residence within Prince Jun’s manor, the dwelling of Consort Yu. That night, Consort Yu seemed to be reading when the candle suddenly went out. A burst of dark, chilling wind blew the door open. She had just reached to close it when two disfigured female ghosts entered, their long tongues hanging out, still repeating, “Why did you harm me? Why did you harm me...”

Terrified, Consort Yu hurried to hide beneath the table, but the ghosts also crouched beside it, straining to seize her. Consort Yu believed Yue’er and Qiqi had come to demand her life, and she dodged desperately.

While dodging them, Consort Yu screamed, “Ah, no, don’t, don’t! Don’t come for me...”

The two female ghosts paid her no heed and continued trying to strangle her. Consort Yu struggled with all her strength.

At night in Jade Serenity Courtyard, ever since Yue’er and Qiqi had died, Consort Yu had not slept a single peaceful night. Every evening she was haunted by nightmares and woke in terror, shrieking without regard for her dignity, “Ghosts! There are ghosts!”

This had become her nightly ritual. They had once invited monks and Daoists to perform rites, but it had been useless. This was Consort Yu’s inner demon. Because she had committed such wicked acts, no monk or Daoist could save her. It was the retribution for setting the fire and murdering people.