8. Bookworm, have you grown so weathered because of me?

Evening at the Yang Residence

Moonlight drifted softly through the sky as Hui Yue’er made her way into the Yang Residence. After all, Yue’er was merely a low-ranking official, without any formal rank—less esteemed even than a seventh-rank county magistrate. This morning she had been fortunate enough to ride in a sedan chair to work, but from now on, she would have to walk.

As Yue’er arrived at the entrance of the Yang Residence, she immediately spotted two swift horses from the Jun Prince’s estate. She knew it was Zhao Chengxian. A complex mix of emotions welled up inside her—on one hand, the joy of soon seeing the man she loved; on the other, the anxiety of her true identity being exposed. She trusted that Zhao Chengxian would never report her, yet if her secret were discovered someday, it would surely implicate him as well. With a heart full of unease, Yue’er stepped cautiously inside.

In the main hall, she found the venerable Elder Yang seated alongside Zhao Chengxian in the place of honor, drinking tea. Standing before Zhao Chengxian was the guard Chen Gui. The moment Chen Gui saw Yue’er return, he gave Zhao Chengxian a subtle signal. Yet Zhao Chengxian appeared oblivious to her arrival, quietly sipping his tea and ignoring Yue’er.

Following proper etiquette, Yue’er performed a respectful greeting, clasping her hands and saying, “Your servant Yang Wentai pays respects to the Jun Prince!” For two years, how many times had she dreamed of seeing Zhao Chengxian’s figure, feeling the warmth of his embrace—only to awaken and realize it was but a dream? That profound sense of loss, uncertain of where to turn, painfully taught Yue’er the harshness of reality.

Zhao Chengxian waved gently in his customary manner and replied, “Scholar, no need for such formalities. Today, I come uninvited, so I hope you won’t mind.” He refrained from probing her any further, choosing instead to observe proper manners. But could he truly harbor no doubts? Impossible—otherwise, he wouldn’t have made this visit.

Yue’er stood silently for a long moment, dazed. Elder Yang stepped in to ease the atmosphere. Smiling at Zhao Chengxian, he said, “Chengxian, what are you saying? I’ve watched you grow up; you must visit me often from now on!” He could see that Zhao Chengxian’s love for Yue’er was genuine. On several occasions, he had heard Xuanyuan Ren say that Zhao Chengxian had changed since falling for Hui Yue’er. Curious, Elder Yang had once peeked into the annex and seen Zhao Chengxian drinking alone through the night, a testament to the depth of his feelings.

Yue’er regained her composure and looked toward Zhao Chengxian. “It is my honor to have the prince visit. How could I possibly mind?” she said politely, though her words felt distant. In truth, her heart whispered: I am delighted you came. Bookworm, you’ve grown weary and worn—has it been because of me? But she dared not voice such thoughts.

Zhao Chengxian brightened. “Then I shall come often!” Both Elder Yang and Yue’er showed a hint of helplessness on their faces. At that moment, Zhao Chengxian recalled the young woman who had just poured his tea—a familiar feeling stirred within him despite not having spoken face-to-face. He had already guessed who she was. Tentatively, he asked, “I didn’t expect the scholar to have a wife at such a young age. I assume you two grew up together?”

He asked deliberately. Knowing that Qi Qi was still alive was a relief to him. Over the past two years, while mourning for Yue’er, he had also felt guilty about Qi Qi’s fate in the palace. He earnestly hoped the girl was indeed Qi Qi.

Yue’er smiled and replied, “Yes, my wife and I grew up side by side. We married when I was eighteen. Your Highness, do you have a princess consort?” If she didn’t ask, it would surely arouse suspicion. She was the one who knew this matter best.

Elder Yang observed them—the lovers reunited yet unable to openly acknowledge each other, deeply in love but forced into wary probing. It must be a painful sensation. A smile crept across Elder Yang’s lips, a touch perverse in finding joy in their subtle torment.

After some thought, Zhao Chengxian said thoughtfully, “No, two years ago there was a girl I hoped to spend my life with, but sadly, she died in an accident. I fear I may never find another to share my life with.” A faint melancholy shadowed his face.

Each word stabbed Yue’er’s heart painfully. How she longed to reveal the truth, but reason bound her silent. Elder Yang patted Zhao Chengxian’s shoulder comfortingly. “That won’t happen. As long as you search with your heart, you will find a girl who moves you.”

Silence lingered for a long while; sometimes, quiet was the best solace.

After a moment, Zhao Chengxian rose. “It’s getting late. I’ll take my leave for now. I’ll visit the National Uncle and the scholar again another day.” Elder Yang nodded as Zhao Chengxian and Chen Gui departed the Yang Residence.

Once Zhao Chengxian was gone, Yue’er leaned against the great door, gazing into the distance. “Are we destined but never meant to be?” she murmured.

Elder Yang did not disturb her. Shaking his head, he turned and walked into the inner chambers.