Disheartened and Worn Out

I left in silence. After walking several hundred meters, I happened to look back and saw the proprietress standing on the balcony of the second floor, watching me. When our eyes met, she turned away awkwardly. My heart skipped a beat, but I had no time to dwell on it. The question that kept circling in my mind was: who had leaked my background? I had only been working at the factory for a few days, yet the workers seemed to know everything about my time in prison, even the reason why I was incarcerated.

I didn’t have any close acquaintances in the factory, so someone must have told the proprietress about my past. Who could know so much about me and be so determined to make trouble for me? After thinking it over, only one name came to mind—Jin Baoqiang. It must have been him. He found out which factory I was working at and went straight to the proprietress to have me dismissed.

He had always held a grudge against me for spoiling his attempt to assault Ling Xue years ago, and had been scheming to get back at me ever since. If I ever get the chance, I’ll repay Jin Baoqiang in kind. The Jin family was wealthy and influential, far more so than the modest factory where I’d just started working. The proprietress couldn’t afford to offend the Jins, and she probably wasn’t keen on employing an ex-convict anyway, fearing the trouble it might bring. Her decision to fire me was hardly surprising.

I was disheartened to have lost the hard-won job. I was certain Jin Baoqiang had people following me, and if I found another job, he would only cause trouble again. Limping, I returned to my rented room, made some instant noodles, and fell asleep on my bed.

That night, I slept soundly and had a wonderful dream: Jin Yulian became my bride, and my foster mother, Old Madam Li, was there too. As I took Jin Yulian’s hand and offered tea to my foster mother, she smiled, her face radiant with happiness.

When I woke, I felt I ought to tend to my foster mother’s grave. After being released from prison, I’d been busy confronting Jin Yulian and then searching for work. Now, with no job to rush to, I was in no hurry to find another.

My name is Li Shuifeng, an orphan. When I was very young, I was taken in by an old widow, whom I called Granny Li. The villagers called her a lunatic. Her mind was not quite right, but she treated me with kindness.

Everyone in the village knew Granny Li had led a tragic life. In her youth, she bore a child out of wedlock, and no one knew who the father was. She had a beautiful daughter, but the girl was abducted by traffickers. After ten fruitless years searching for her child, Granny Li’s spirit was broken and her mind began to wander. As for me, I don’t know where she found me, but once I was old enough to understand, I realized we only had each other. By then, she was already old and frail.

We were always bullied and looked down upon by the other villagers, living a life of hardship. Still, I managed to finish middle school. When I was admitted to high school, Granny Li, worn out by years of toil, fell ill. In my second year, she was diagnosed with liver cancer and needed surgery—medical expenses would run nearly a hundred thousand yuan. I dropped out to work in a bar in the county.

Everyone knows that bar work pays little, just a few thousand a month. To make a hundred thousand in a short time was wishful thinking. I’m not ashamed to admit I even dreamed of finding a wealthy woman to support me, so I could quickly earn enough to treat Granny Li’s illness.

Poverty makes a man desperate. I gave up my pride and dignity. By chance, while working as a waiter at the bar, I witnessed Jin Baoqiang, Jin Yulian’s brother, get a girl drunk and try to assault her. I intervened and ruined his plans. Afterwards, Jin Yulian offered me a deal: take the blame for her brother, and she’d give me a hundred thousand yuan for Granny Li’s medical treatment.

In the end, Granny Li passed away. She learned of my crime before she died and was heartbroken, leaving this world full of regret.

Days passed. One morning, after several days of autumn rain, the skies finally cleared. My injuries had healed as well, so I decided to return to my home village to tend to Granny Li’s grave.

I rode back on the old bicycle I’d bought from a scrap collector for fifty yuan and had repaired for another thirty. It was my most prized possession. When I was first released from prison, I’d hurried to visit Granny Li’s grave. It had taken much asking around to find it.

Her grave was on her little plot of land. The last time I visited, the weeds were tall and thick. This time, I brought a sickle to cut the grass, as well as wine, fruit, incense, and candles for the offering.

Having come once before, it was easier to find the grave this time. Yet the sight before me left me stunned. The tall weeds that once covered the grave had vanished, and the area was immaculately cleaned. For a moment, I thought I’d come to the wrong place.

Granny Li’s daughter had been missing for decades. Other than me, she had no close relatives. Who else would tend her grave?

Drawing nearer, I was even more astonished. I remembered there had been no gravestone the last time I visited, yet now a brand-new marble headstone stood there. Had I made a mistake after all?

But then the inscription caught my eye, and my surprise only grew. Carved at the center were the words: “Here lies Guihua of the Li Family.” Guihua was Granny Li’s name, I knew that. Below, in smaller characters, it read: “Son: Shuifeng. Daughter-in-law: Mo Lian.”

A strange, inexplicable shock ran through me. “Son: Shuifeng”—that was me. But “Daughter-in-law: Mo Lian”? I had just been released from prison, and had never even touched a woman. Where did a wife come from? And I had no memory of anyone named Mo Lian.