Heartache

Jade Lian sighed and said, "Xiaofeng, you want my body, fine! Tonight I will grant you your wish, to make up for the harm I once caused you. But this place is too dirty. If a passerby or a car sees us, it would be too embarrassing. My car is parked nearby; let me take you there." With that, she slowly turned around, preparing to walk toward her vehicle.

My focus had been solely on her, so I hadn’t noticed her car before. Now, I saw clearly—it was a white Mercedes SUV. The engine was still running, the headlights bright, which explained why we could see each other's expressions so clearly in the dark night.

Watching her walk toward the white Mercedes, her beautiful and tempting silhouette right before me, I grew worried she might try to escape. I hurriedly rushed after her...

My quick footsteps startled her. At this moment, Jade Lian turned back and said, "Xiaofeng, pick up the money. Tonight I have agreed, I won’t run away." She stopped walking, her upright figure standing silently in the pouring rain. The opened door of the Mercedes was within reach, yet she did not get in to shelter from the storm.

I turned around, hurriedly gathered the scattered money, then looked back immediately. Having been deceived by her once, I truly feared she would drive away while I was distracted.

She leaned her weary body against the Mercedes door. Raindrops streamed down her face, her once beautiful long hair now soaked and clinging to her cheeks. She gently brushed aside the wet strands blocking her eyes, giving me a sorrowful smile. "Don’t worry, I won’t run away tonight. If I wanted to, I wouldn’t have stayed here alone with you."

At that moment, I found her smile heartbreakingly beautiful. Did she still have feelings for me? If she had wanted to escape, she could have jumped into the car, shut the door, and driven away—I would never have caught her. As she said, if she truly intended to flee, she wouldn’t have stayed here with me tonight. She chose to remain with me in the rain; was it possible she truly cared?

Seeing she had no intention to run, I picked up her handbag and umbrella. The handbag had originally hung around her neck; earlier, in my frenzy, I had ripped it off.

Jade Lian watched me in silence. Rain blurred her vision, and I didn’t notice that as she looked at me, her eyes were filled with tears.

When I approached her, still standing in the rain, I said, "Go inside! The autumn rain is cold—if you catch a chill, it’ll be terrible." Jade Lian stepped in and told me, "You come in, too. I promised you, I won’t go back on my word." With that, she quietly began to undress.

Yet, at this moment, my earlier impulse had faded. I thought, Jade Lian is about to marry someone else; if I defile her now, I would ruin her happiness for life. Though she deceived me in the past, it was really my own greed at fault—accepting her money and yearning for her body.

Ah! Let it go. Jade Lian once gave ten thousand yuan for Aunt Li’s medical treatment—she owed me nothing. As for not wanting to marry me, that was only natural.

I tossed her handbag and the money onto the back seat and said, "Go home now! The autumn rain is cold, and you’re a woman; getting sick would be troublesome." Jade Lian looked at me in astonishment. "And you? Aren’t you coming?" She truly hadn’t expected that, after I had tried to force her earlier, now that she was willing, I would refuse.

I said, "I’m a man, strong enough. Getting wet is nothing; don’t worry about me." With a bang, I shut her car door and turned to leave.

Jade Lian rolled down the window and called out, "Xiaofeng, the rain is so heavy—let me drive you home." I managed a bitter smile; after prison, what home did I have? But I pretended not to care, replied, "Our past grievances are settled. Rest assured, I won’t bother you again. I’m off to work now; I hope we never meet again."

Bending down, I picked up my battered bicycle and climbed on, wobbling away. Jade Lian watched my lonely figure disappear into the night, tears streaming down her face once more. Silently, she thought, "Xiaofeng, I understand your pain—but do you know mine? You’ll never understand my suffering." She steadied herself and finally drove away.

My heart had hardened as I left Jade Lian behind, but as I neared the factory, I fell off my bicycle. I abandoned the broken bike by the roadside and sat in the rain, crying in anguish.

I felt utterly useless. My heart ached for Jade Lian, yet I dared not show it. Worse still, she had been willing to give herself to me, and I, powerless, had let her go. In prison, I thought of her constantly—her exquisite body, dreaming even of marrying her after my release. But now I understood: it was all just a fantasy, and dreams are always empty.

When I pushed my broken bicycle into the factory, the shift supervisor saw my injured face, my clothes soaked and torn, and I looked a mess. He was surprised, "Xiaofeng, what happened? Did you get into a fight?"

I shook my head and lied, "Master Yang, I fell into a ditch riding my bike to work." The supervisor asked, "Are you badly hurt? Should you see a doctor?" I replied, "Master Yang, I’m fine now; I’d like to get to work." He shook his head, "Shuifeng, you’re soaked—getting sick would be trouble. You’re off tonight, go home and rest. Oh, and come by the office tomorrow morning; the lady boss might have something to discuss with you."

Hearing this, I realized how cold and uncomfortable I was. So I requested the night off, then pushed my bike back to the small rented room. This time, I found myself utterly drained on the way home.