Volume 1, Chapter 9: I Hate This Face That Looks Just Like Yours

"I didn't mean to upset you, sister. I only wanted to make amends for my mistakes!"

A crystal-clear tear slid down Mei Xianghan's cheek. She hurriedly reached up to wipe it away, but the more she wiped, the more flowed. With her nose reddened by the cold, anyone who saw her looking so flustered would surely feel a sense of pity.

But for Mei Gongxue, there was only annoyance. A memory she had almost forgotten surfaced with renewed clarity in her mind.

She remembered when she was ten years old, returning to the Marquis's estate full of anticipation, thinking she would finally be reunited with her family and would no longer be an unwanted child. However, the moment she stepped through the door, the girl who looked exactly like her had burst into loud sobs.

"If sister is back, will Father and brothers stop wanting me?"

The handsome boys had immediately shielded her like a precious treasure. "Don't worry, Xiang'er. You are the little sister we raised from childhood; we will always love you the most!"

They had then cast a hostile glance at Mei Gongxue, seemingly blaming her for making their little sister unhappy the moment she arrived. Mei Gongxue had tried her best to smile, pretending not to understand. They were all just children, and even twin sisters would inevitably bicker. Yet, whenever Mei Xianghan cried, the brothers would lecture her, asking why she couldn't be more accommodating to her little sister, before taking the toys she had been playing with and giving them to Mei Xianghan.

But those things had belonged to her!

Mei Gongxue’s heart had long since turned cold. Looking at the person before her who shared her exact face, her tone grew increasingly ruthless.

"Do you know how rare it is to be twins? We should have been the closest people in the world, but now, the thing I hate most is this face that looks exactly like yours. After I was married into the Zhao household, I explained to Zhao Zhang that I wasn't the one who had humiliated him that day, that it was all a mistake. But Zhao Zhang didn't care at all. What he wanted was to see this face begging at his feet! I once wanted to destroy this face with a knife, but he threatened to kill everyone serving me if I dared to do it."

"Stop it! Don't say any more!" Mei Xianghan covered her ears and shouted, her face still showing terror. "Zhao Zhang is a monster! He deserves to die! I know you must have suffered a great deal after marrying him, but thank goodness that wretched eunuch has been brought to justice. It's all over now!"

She seemed intent on proving that the culprit behind everything Mei Gongxue had suffered was none other than Zhao Zhang.

Mei Gongxue let out a cynical laugh. "You certainly know how to clear your own name, but who was the one who humiliated Zhao Zhang in the first place? And who was the one who caused the trouble but didn't dare to take responsibility?"

Mei Xianghan turned as pale as paper, struggling to hold back tears in the face of Mei Gongxue’s questioning. "I didn't do it on purpose! When I found out Zhao Zhang had caused Father's death, I was truly furious—I wanted to rush up and kill him! But he had many guards around him at the time, and I was afraid... that's why... but I never imagined that the scoundrel would dare to petition the Emperor for a marriage decree!"

She had thought Zhao Zhang was merely a eunuch who could, at most, speak ill of her before the Emperor.

Mei Gongxue sighed, feeling a sudden exhaustion. "Mei Xianghan, although we are both Father's daughters, you were raised in the Marquis's estate from childhood. With Mother gone, it’s only natural that our brothers favored you, as they raised you themselves."

"But I have drifted outside for too long, always thinking that human hearts are made of flesh and blood. I thought if I were just a little more sensible and well-behaved, one day they would love me just as they love you."

"But I later realized my thinking was too naive. They knew perfectly well that you were the one at fault, yet they still forced me to take the blame. They knew I loved Ji Yunchu, yet they still went to great lengths to ensure your union."

Seeming to recognize the name, Mei Xianghan looked up abruptly. "Sister, do you still..."

"Are you worried I’ll cling to Ji Yunchu like I used to?" Mei Gongxue waved her hand dismissively. "Since you're here today, let me make it clear: I no longer like him, and I will never stand in your way again."

Mei Xianghan looked at her, still seemingly in disbelief. "Really?"

Mei Gongxue shook her head. Whether she liked him or not felt so distant to her now. Mei Xianghan, who had been crying like a flower in the rain, suddenly quieted down.

Mei Gongxue continued, "Rest assured, I won't fight you for anything ever again."

Mei Xianghan lowered her eyes, feeling a slight sense of relief. She had to admit that Mei Gongxue intimidated her, especially regarding Ji Yunchu. Earlier that morning, Ji Yunchu’s ambiguous tone regarding their marriage had made her very anxious, fearing he might have a change of heart. But seeing Mei Gongxue’s attitude so resolute, she felt a little more at ease.

"I won't stay in the Marquis's estate for much longer either. Once I recover a bit more, I will move out immediately. The only person here who still ties me to this place is our sister-in-law. I only hope to spend a little more time talking with her, so please, do not come to disturb me again." Mei Gongxue spoke calmly and earnestly.

She no longer held any expectations for the Marquis's estate. If it were not necessary, she would not even step out of her own courtyard, let alone see Mei Xianghan.

"What? You want to leave? That doesn't seem right... our brothers will be worried about you..." Mei Xianghan said tremulously. The most critical point was that if Mei Gongxue just left like this, what would people outside think of their family?

Mei Gongxue was momentarily stunned. If she couldn't afford to provoke the girl, was she not even allowed to leave?

Just as she was about to speak, a metallic, fishy taste welled up in her throat.

"Cough, cough..."

Mei Gongxue quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to suppress it, but the more she tried, the more violent the coughing became. Her thin, frail frame looked as if it might shatter at any moment.

"Sister, are you alright?"

Mei Xianghan tried to approach, but was blocked by Hongxiu, who stood at her side. "Second Young Lady, the Eldest Young Lady is tired. If you have finished saying what you needed to, please take your leave!"

Hongxiu's expression was cold. Even she could see that her mistress did not want to see Mei Xianghan; why did she insist on pushing herself forward?

Mei Xianghan bit her lip. "Very well, I shall go then."

After she left, Mei Gongxue’s coughing finally subsided. She leaned back against her pillows, her eyes filled with a deep, profound exhaustion.

Hongxiu looked at her with heartache. "Mistress, let this servant help you rest for a while."

Mei Gongxue looked at the anxious, caring expression in her eyes and felt a rare warmth. It was truly rare to have one sincere soul by her side in such a cold place as the Marquis's estate.

"No need. Go through my trunks and find all the small gold items and jewelry that can be pawned!"

Although puzzled, Hongxiu hurried to obey. She spent a long time gathering the loose silver that had been tucked away in the storehouse or hidden in the bottom of fish tanks over the years.

"Eldest Young Lady, why do you need these?"

Mei Gongxue was about to answer when a young maid rushed in, breathless.

"Mistress, this is terrible! After the Second Young Lady left our quarters, she fainted!"