Volume One, Chapter 12: They Bet on How Many Days I Could Starve

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Indeed, she was no longer a princess.

Song Jiayin lowered her eyes, still staring at her toes, while the pain in her heart grew dozens of times more intense.

She replied lightly, “Cloud Slave would never presume to call herself a princess.”

Empress Zhou glared at her son again. “Enough! What nonsense are you talking? Jiayi went to marry into a foreign court, so naturally she is a princess. She has suffered and is upset; that is only to be expected. If you say another word, I will have your Imperial Father deal with you.”

Song Jing seemed to realize that he had gone too far and fell silent.

Empress Zhou rubbed Song Jiayin’s hands and consoled her. “Jiayi, don’t be angry with your imperial brother. Go to Han Zhang Palace first and wash up and dress properly. Later, Mother will take you to pay your respects to your imperial grandmother. Back then, you were the first girl born into the palace, and your imperial grandmother treasured you above all others.”

Song Jiayin merely nodded faintly. After bowing to Empress Zhou and the others, she followed the road to Han Zhang Palace, her heart filled with mockery.

So if she had not gone to marry into a foreign court, she would no longer be a princess?

Could it be that, in these people’s eyes, she still cherished being this absurd, neither-one-thing-nor-another princess?

Zi Yan accompanied her to the entrance of Han Zhang Palace.

The gates were tall, the characters carved upon them beautiful, and beyond the courtyard lay a graceful landscape.

Zi Yan smiled. “Princess, this palace was once occupied by a princess of the previous dynasty. The attendants are all waiting inside. Her Majesty the Empress has assigned you four maids, two matrons, and two eunuchs—about the same number as Princess Yue has.”

Song Jiayin surveyed her surroundings. Everything felt unfamiliar and distant.

None of this mattered to her anymore.

Had it been three years ago, she certainly would have chosen carefully and fought for the best.

Unfortunately, she was no longer the Song Jiayin of three years ago.

When she entered the main hall, a cool breeze carrying the pleasant fragrance of flowers greeted her.

Several palace maids had been waiting for some time. Their faces were bright with eager smiles as they hurried forward to welcome Song Jiayin.

They led her to the seat of honor. The maids, matrons, and eunuchs immediately knelt and bowed respectfully, yet remained prostrate on the floor.

Song Jiayin knew perfectly well that they were waiting for her rewards. But she had nothing of value on her. Even the jewelry in her hair had been given to her casually by Song Lin or Song Jing when she was in the capital, simply to match her clothes.

She gently touched the hairpin, then slowly removed it. Next came her earrings, and finally the jade bracelet around her wrist. She placed them all in Zi Yan’s hands and said softly, “Take these and divide them among yourselves. I have only just arrived and have nothing else suitable to reward you with.”

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Zi Yan hastily refused. “Princess, you absolutely must not. These are the only pieces of jewelry you possess. Once Her Majesty the Dowager Empress and Her Majesty the Empress bestow gifts upon you, it will not be too late to reward us then.”

Song Jiayin happened to catch the trace of disdain that flickered across the eyes of one of the palace maids nearby, but her heart remained as still as water.

“I will soon be paying my respects to the Dowager Empress, and the rewards will surely arrive soon enough. Take these and divide them among yourselves for now. And all of you may withdraw. I will call if I need anything.”

At her words, Zi Yan respectfully acknowledged her. Holding the jewelry in both hands, she led the others out of the hall.

Before even the time it took to finish a cup of tea had passed, people arrived from Empress Zhou’s palace with ten sets of clothing, ten sets of jewelry, and several cloaks. They also brought a selection of food.

Because there was meat among it, Song Jiayin could not stop retching. She even vomited up the few mouthfuls of hot tea she had drunk.

Perhaps sour gruel and slop were the only things her stomach could accept.

She was told to go to Ci’an Palace in an hour to pay her respects to the Dowager Empress.

Song Jiayin simply sat in silence, waiting for the minutes to pass. She did not move at all, and no one else dared disturb her.

Later, Zi Yan led her to the gates of Ci’an Palace, where they encountered Song Jing.

“Why are you still dressed in such loose, flowing robes? Her Majesty the Empress gave you ten sets of clothes. Do you look down on every one of them?”

The moment Song Jing saw Song Jiayin’s pitiful appearance, fury surged within him, mixed with a trace of disgust.

“You were once a princess of Great Zhou, at least. Do you not even know how to dress yourself? Could it be that you deliberately came before Grandmother looking like this, hoping she would see you and then blame Mother?”

Song Jiayin had just opened her mouth to explain when Lin Ye shouted furiously, “Get out! Leave Grandmother’s courtyard at once! Grandmother is advanced in years. She cannot be made ill from grieving and anger because of you. Put away your malicious schemes!”

Song Jiayin’s knees already hurt terribly. When she saw Song Jing move to push her, she hurriedly stepped back. She had not expected the high threshold to trip her. She fell backward and landed at Empress Zhou’s feet.

Empress Zhou scolded, “Jing’er, what are you doing? How could you push your sister?”

Several palace maids rushed forward to help Song Jiayin up, but her hand had already begun to bleed. A sharp stone had pierced her palm.

Blood dripped down, covering her hand, and the palace maids were thrown into confusion.

Empress Zhou immediately took out a handkerchief and pressed it against the wound. Turning toward the maids, she ordered, “What are you waiting for? Hurry and summon the imperial physician!”

One of the maids acknowledged the order and ran toward the Imperial Medical Office.

Song Jing nevertheless insisted, “She fell by herself. I never touched her. Mother, look at her. She deliberately wore such improper clothes to appear before Grandmother. Isn’t she trying to make trouble for you?”

Only then did Empress Zhou examine Song Jiayin. Her clothes were indeed far too large and clearly did not fit.

But there was no reproach in her voice. “Jiayi, were you in such a hurry to come out that you did not have time to choose something suitable? Come. Mother will bandage your wound and help you change your clothes.”

Song Jiayin helplessly rolled up her sleeve and said with calm indifference, “They are all chilblains and scars. Wearing larger clothes helps conceal them.”

She spoke as though she were discussing someone else’s injuries.

The moment her words fell, silence descended around them.

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The chilblains, open wounds, and scars were all mingled together, a sight that was horrifying to behold.

Her wrists were so thin they seemed as though they could be snapped with ease.

It was clear that beatings, scoldings, freezing, and starvation had been commonplace.

So—

Song Jing was immediately overcome with guilt. She really had needed to conceal them. If she had not, Grandmother truly might have been angered into illness.

Empress Zhou’s face filled with heartbreak. “It was Mother’s negligence. Jiayi, you have grown so thin, yet I used Yueyi’s measurements to make these clothes. Yueyi is taller than you…”

“Jiayi, Mother is sorry. I never even thought…” As she spoke, tears slipped down Empress Zhou’s cheeks.

Song Jiayin quietly stared at the palm of her hand, experiencing a strange, unfamiliar sensation.

With reddened eyes, Zi Yan stepped forward. “Your Majesty the Empress, I secretly saw that the princess is covered in wounds. She was afraid I would worry and would not let me wait upon her. Her knees are deformed as well. It took her a full half hour to walk to Ci’an Palace…”

What? Covered in wounds? Her knees were ruined? It had taken her half an hour to walk here?

Empress Zhou could bear no more. She hurriedly ordered, “Go and urge them! Tell the imperial physician to come at once!”

Song Yueyi, who had been standing nearby, burst into tears. “How could they treat a princess of Great Zhou so carelessly? How could they do such a thing?”

Song Jiayin had not intended to say anything more, but when she saw Song Yueyi behaving as though she were the one who had suffered, fury suddenly flared within her.

“Once they learned that I was merely a servant sent in another’s place to marry into a foreign court, they either beat me or cursed me. They made bets on how many days I could go without starving to death, how many days I could go without freezing to death… They said that lowborn wretches take a long time to die. When they saw I was still alive, they stopped beating me. They said they were tired of it…”

Song Yueyi was instantly rendered speechless and even took two steps back. Noble Consort Li, standing nearby, also turned visibly grim.

For three years, all these people had lived well, enjoying wealth and honor.

Yet she was criticized merely for wearing a single garment.

What concern? What imperial physicians?

Hmph. Everything only made her feel sick.