Chapter Seventeen: Public Humiliation Parade
“Lord Xiao, please don’t act impulsively, don’t act impulsively.”
Lu Weicheng knelt down before Xiao Zhi.
When Lu came to find Xiao Zhi, his heart was pounding. This madman—would he really negotiate peacefully with the Northern Barbarian envoy? If the talks went poorly, would something happen?
At that time, he told himself that if trouble arose, it wouldn’t be his concern; after all, it was Xiao Zhi who took on the task of negotiating with the Northern Barbarians.
But now, things had taken a turn. Xiao Zhi was using the fact that Lu had been beaten as a pretext to confront the Northern Barbarians directly.
When the time came, to pacify the Northern Barbarians’ anger, they’d likely toss him—the unlucky one—into the vegetable market and solve the problem with a single stroke of a blade.
No one would care if he was innocent or not. Between two nations, diplomacy is ostensibly about reason, but in reality, it is about power.
Lu Weicheng was terrified, desperate to return home and see his mother.
Xiao Zhi first whispered orders to someone, then pointed to two military officers. “Help Lord Lu to the Honglu Temple inn.”
Xiao Zhi and his entourage rode out with great authority, urging their horses swiftly toward the Honglu Temple.
Dismounting, Xiao Zhi entered the inn, where the first thing that caught his eye was the chaos—furniture smashed and scattered—and angry voices echoed continuously.
Pushing open a half-closed door, he saw six or seven men drinking around a table. One had a young woman nestled in his arms, and the table was piled high with stewed lamb.
The entire room was filled with a foul stench, as if these Northern Barbarians had just emerged from a barnyard and hadn’t bathed for months.
A burly man with a thick beard held a wine jug in one hand and whipped the man lying on the floor with the other, cursing as he struck.
The man on the ground no longer moved, but twitched involuntarily with each lash.
Hearing someone enter, all present turned their gaze.
“Who are you?”
The bearded man’s Mandarin was slightly awkward.
“I am a sixth-rank Martial Officer of Great Chu, responsible for this bilateral negotiation.”
Xiao Zhi smiled ingratiatingly, though the crooked grin appeared fierce and menacing.
“Sixth-rank?” The man was momentarily stunned, then angrily retorted, “You, a lowly sixth-rank official, a mere dog of a minor officer, dare to come negotiate state affairs? Go back! Let your emperor come in person.”
“Our Great Chu has rules: when receiving honored guests, senior officials are sent. But when dealing with these filthy barbarians, sending a sixth-rank officer like me is already an extraordinary gesture.”
Xiao Zhi’s smile vanished, replaced by a cold voice. “Are you Wanyan Zhengyu?”
Sensing the tension, the small group of officers behind this sixth-rank guard carried weapons. The door was narrow, so the crowded mass beyond was unclear.
Meanwhile, the Honglu Temple’s chief envoy, who had been driven away, was now limp and being supported by two men.
“Is that so?”
Xiao Zhi stepped forward and continued, “What crime did he commit to make you so eager to beat him to death?”
“I am a Northern Barbarian envoy. Why would I need a reason to beat him? If you don’t agree, you can hit back.”
The Northern Barbarians burst into laughter. To them, every person from Great Chu was a coward; they wouldn’t even dare meet their gaze, much less fight.
Xiao Zhi laughed as well, waving his hand backward. Two men immediately came forward to drag away the man lying on the ground.
“Not a bad argument: no reason needed to beat someone, and if you don’t like it, you can fight back!” Xiao Zhi said. “That’s how diplomacy between our two nations works. Your Northern Barbarian cavalry rides across a thousand miles with pride—that’s your confidence.”
Wanyan Zhengyu’s face was filled with arrogance. “Naturally.”
Xiao Zhi nodded and said to those behind him, “Come on, Lord Wanyan said you can fight back. Tie these foul-smelling beasts smelling of sheep dung to the horse post.”
His voice was low, but everyone heard it.
Before Wanyan Zhengyu and his men could react, a group charged in, forcing them down and binding them tightly.
“How dare you! We are the Northern Barbarian envoy! You dare lay hands on us? You want to die.”
Xiao Zhi replied, “Tie him to a horse. I will take Northern Barbarian envoy Wanyan Zhengyu for a tour of our Great Chu capital.”
In the inn’s courtyard, everyone was tied to the horse posts. Xiao Zhi handed the whip to Lu Weicheng. “Lord Lu, vent your anger.”
Lu Weicheng was already terrified, the whip in Xiao Zhi’s hand like a poisonous snake, making him retreat repeatedly in fear.
Xiao Zhi shook his head. There have always been people who kneel so long they cannot stand.
“Hit him!”
Xiao Zhi’s principle was not to kill—if he did, it wouldn’t matter much, just more trouble disposing of the body at the mass grave.
“Daring wretch! How dare you beat a Northern Barbarian envoy? Your emperor will have your head.”
Wanyan Zhengyu, bound hand and foot, raised his eyebrows in fury, as if he wanted to bite Xiao Zhi to death.
The Northern Barbarians tied up were sobering up, cursing in words Xiao Zhi could not understand.
The palace guards showed no mercy. The Martial Officer’s orders were like imperial edicts. One by one, they rolled up their sleeves and began lashing left and right.
The curses quickly turned into screams of pain.
“Lord Wanyan, you’ve been in Great Chu for several days. I guess you haven’t had a proper tour. Come with me and broaden your horizons,” Xiao Zhi said with a sincere smile.
He then swung himself onto his horse, one end of the rope tied to Wanyan Zhengyu held by a commander.
Leading the Northern Barbarian envoy through the streets tied up like this was likely unprecedented in history.
Lu Weicheng was utterly despondent. After this affair, there was absolutely no room for negotiation between the two nations. War was inevitable. In the brief time it took, he had already composed his own farewell letter in his mind.
Not far from the inn, Xiao Zhi spotted a small stall for letter writing.
He pulled out a handful of copper coins and tossed them onto the stall, looking down arrogantly. “Write a few words, on large paper. Just write: ‘Northern Barbarian Dog, Wanyan Zhengyu!’”
Soon, a large placard was stuck to Wanyan Zhengyu’s chest. Bound tightly, no matter how much he struggled, the paper would not come off.
“You’re finished, brat. How dare you treat my Northern Barbarian warrior like this? When our cavalry invades Great Chu, I will personally slaughter you.”
Who are the ones who make threats like that? Those without real power.
Xiao Zhi’s horses led the slow procession through the capital streets, deliberately heading toward crowded places.
Whenever they passed an official, Xiao Zhi would stop and greet them.
“What bureau are you from?”
“Oh, the Jingzhao Prefecture, on patrol? Good, good.”
“Oh, isn’t that Lord Wang? What’s he busy with?”
“You ask what I’m doing? Walking the dog, bored to death every day.”
“That’s right, he’s the Northern Barbarian envoy, Wanyan Zhengyu.”
“He’s harmless, want to pet him? Stroke him with the grain.”
“He won’t bite me, so how could he bite our Great Chu people? Why? Because we feed him!”
…
Xiao Zhi and his company became quite the spectacle in the capital.
“What time is it?” Xiao Zhi was sweating from the walk. Behind him, Wanyan Zhengyu seemed resigned, no longer cursing for a long time.
“Master, it is the third quarter of the afternoon hour.”
Xiao Zhi nodded. The time was right. It was time to show Wanyan Zhengyu the true world.
Ten miles west of the capital lay a stretch of saline-alkali land.
Xiao Zhi and his group dragged the exhausted Wanyan Zhengyu there slowly.
Upon arrival, a commander stepped forward and saluted.
“Is everything ready?”
“All prepared according to your instructions, Master.”
Xiao Zhi ordered Wanyan Zhengyu’s bonds to be loosened and mounted his horse atop a high ground.
“Lord Wanyan, do you think the Northern Barbarian cavalry is invincible? Let’s watch a show together. How about that?”