Chapter 23: It Is All Your Fault

Qu Jingxuan felt a flicker of curiosity. He remembered meeting the Xiao family’s adopted daughter a long time ago, and he had heard of her imperial betrothal during the last palace banquet. It was a pity he had been away on business at the time and missed the chance to witness the drama surrounding Xiao Tuyu.

Usually, Xiao Liyang guarded her like the apple of his eye, so much so that when Shen Xianyue’s name was mentioned, he found himself momentarily unable to recall exactly what she looked like.

Beside the rockery in the back garden, Shen Xianyue held a handful of fish food, scattering it into the pond. A cluster of plump fish scrambled toward it in a frenzy.

"If only people were as simple-minded as fish."

Shen Xianyue felt as though she were trapped in a massive whirlpool. Everything had piled up at once, and the list of things she needed to do only grew longer. Occasionally, she longed for a moment of stolen leisure.

Yingxia covered her mouth and giggled, "If everyone were as chubby as these fish, Miss, you’d be worried again."

Shen Xianyue knew exactly what she meant. She had indulged in too many treats recently and gained a few pounds. When she saw her own waistline, she had been so frightened that she barely touched her food for days.

"I’ve changed my mind. I need to eat more—eat even more so I can become strong. Only then will I have the ability to protect myself when I encounter villains."

Yingxia didn’t quite understand, but she was fully supportive. "Then this servant will eat until I’m strong, too—even stronger than you, Miss! If you ever face danger, I’ll just go like this: one punch for each of them, and I’ll knock them all down."

Watching Yingxia’s casual, clumsy gestures, it almost looked like she had the right spirit.

Perhaps she could ask Xiao Tuyu for help and find a few martial arts instructors. After the experiences of her past life, she truly believed that having some combat ability was a blessing. She would ask Xiao Tuyu for a favor when she returned; after all, they were on the same boat now, and she might as well make use of him.

"Yueyue? Why are you here all by yourself?"

Hearing that familiar voice, Shen Xianyue’s brows furrowed involuntarily. This was the first time she had ever hated being a woman. If she were a man, she would have long ago left this deep, walled courtyard to pursue a career or trade, where the world would be vast enough to hold her. She wouldn’t have to face people she never wished to see again.

"Brother."

Xiao Liyang sat down nearby, vibrant and spirited, naturally taking the fish food from her hands. "I didn’t see much of you in the front earlier. Why did you run off to such a far place all by yourself?"

Shen Xianyue’s eyes followed the fish in the water. "There were too many people. I don’t like it."

"That’s true. You’ve never liked crowded places since you were small. Yueyue..." He paused. "Actually, I wanted to ask: why did you help Xiao Tuyu that day? Was it really because he is your betrothed, or... is it because you truly have feelings for him?"

Shen Xianyue felt a deep aversion to being compared or linked with Xiao Liyang and Xiao Tuyu. In her view, at least Xiao Tuyu was not fickle; he wouldn't flirt and then run away. Even if they were to reach a life-or-death confrontation, he would surely list his grievances before her face clearly.

Xiao Liyang was not worthy of that.

Seeing that Shen Xianyue remained silent for a long time, Xiao Liyang grew anxious. "Do you really like him?"

"No!"

"Brother, don't let your imagination run wild. The reason is exactly what I told Mother: I did it to help you."

"Most importantly, I just wanted to put the matter behind us, didn't I?"

Xiao Liyang studied her for a long time before letting out a soft, dry laugh. "I thought you had changed. The sister who once promised to stay by my side forever has one day turned into a blade aimed at my heart."

"Of course not."

Shen Xianyue’s eyes carried a smile, but it did not reach them.

She had lied.

The air turned strangely quiet again. Yingxia truly could not take it anymore; the atmosphere between these two was far too bizarre. She glanced secretly at Shen Xianyue, whose expressionless face looked somewhat frightening.

After a long while, Xiao Liyang spoke up. "Yueyue, do you remember? You used to joke that when you grew up, you would marry me."

Shen Xianyue’s hand trembled, and the fish food scattered across the ground. "I was just a child who didn't understand anything. It was merely a joke."

"But later, that time I was drunk and held you in my arms, you clearly..."

"Brother!"

Shen Xianyue sharply cut him off. She knew that the tragedy of her past life had its roots entirely in that drunken episode. It could have been restrained; it could have been buried in her heart, like fallen leaves piling up in autumn—given enough time, they would have slowly rotted away and turned to dust.

But that night of drunkenness was like a fuse, igniting a mountain of fireworks that burned out of control. That was why, when the betrothal was announced, she had been certain Xiao Liyang was willing to marry her. Had it not been for that night, she might have followed the marquisate’s arrangements or the Emperor’s decree, marrying a stranger to live out a mundane life.

Yet, he had called her shameless; he had cursed her for violating human ethics.

It was he who had held her and refused to let go; it was he who had poured out his surging love; and in the end, it was he who had turned his back and denied it all. He was the one who had led her onto a path where she was neither a wife nor a sister.

"I have long since forgotten."

"How is that possible? I don't believe you’ve forgotten. You clearly remember—how could you forget?"

"Those were just the ramblings of a drunkard. Why should I take them to heart? Is my brother still trapped in the haze of that night?"

Shen Xianyue’s words were like a basin of ice water poured over his head. For the first time, Xiao Liyang felt that there were things he could no longer control.

"The front courtyard sounds quite lively. I am leaving now. If you wish to stay here, please do."

Shen Xianyue feared that if she continued, she would spill all the secrets of her past life or point at his nose and hurl even harsher insults. She currently lacked the power to protect herself and could barely step outside the marquisate’s walls. Her top priority was to ensure her own safety.

Xiao Liyang said nothing, merely staring blankly at the fishpond.

Shen Xianyue rose and led Yingxia away. As her skirts swayed, Xiao Liyang caught a glimpse of the sister from long ago—the sister he had once been determined to protect with all his heart.

Behind the rockery, on a narrow path, a corner of dark, mysterious robes flashed before the figure vanished into the shadows of the trees.

Shen Xianyue grew angrier with every step. Why was she the only one who remembered the events of the past life? Why did he get to act as if nothing had happened?

In her agitation, Shen Xianyue failed to notice a group of young noblewomen playing a game of blindman's buff nearby, laughing and shrieking in a chaotic circle. There was plenty of space to the side, and she intended to pass by, but Qu Shiying was intentionally teasing the blindfolded girl. Hearing her laughter, Qu Shiying cried, "I heard you! I’ve caught you!"

Unexpectedly, Qu Shiying took a large step backward and nearly collided with Shen Xianyue’s shoulder. She managed to stop herself in time, but the blindfolded girl could not; she lunged forward with all her might.

They were right by the arched bridge, and below lay the pond. While the season wasn't cold, falling in would be a terrible humiliation. Taken by surprise, Shen Xianyue was struck hard, losing her balance and crashing against the railing, plummeting straight downward.