Chapter 79: Once Having Seen the Vast Sea, No Other Waters Satisfy

Has Shen Yu arrived? Chu Xiu hurried to the reception hall of Zhiyan Pavilion, and sure enough, she saw the handsome young man standing there, his expression grave, brows slightly furrowed. His tall figure was poised in the center of the room, eyes fixed on the teacup from which a faint wisp of steam curled, as if lost in thought.

“Little Marquis,” Chu Xiu greeted him with a gentle smile, entering the hall.

Shen Yu quickly returned to himself and looked over, his eyes filled with deep concern and longing. “You’ve been so busy these days, I haven’t seen you at all.”

Chu Xiu lowered her gaze and replied with forced composure, “It is I who cannot find you. You’ve not been in the manor much lately. Are you preparing to return to Jingzhou?”

But Shen Yu only shook his head, not answering, and instead asked, “How is your shoulder injury?”

Her shoulder injury? If not for his question, Chu Xiu might have forgotten it altogether. Fourteen days ago, Qian Yun had stabbed her left shoulder with a dagger. She didn’t know what ointment Shen Yu had given her, but the wound had healed rapidly. As long as she didn’t raise her arm or touch the spot, she felt little pain.

“Every morning and evening, Danxin applies medicine for me. If you hadn’t mentioned it, I would have forgotten I was even wounded!” Chu Xiu tried to speak lightly, hoping to hint to him that she was doing well.

Hearing this, Shen Yu’s lips curved in a faint, clear smile—a maturity and steadiness had replaced his former carefree elegance. This surprised Chu Xiu, bringing her a small, unexpected joy. Yet when she remembered the reason for such a change, sorrow welled up once more.

At that moment, Shen Yu produced a white porcelain bottle from his sleeve and handed it to her. “I thought you must be running out of ointment. This one not only aids healing but also prevents scarring. Do give it a try.”

Chu Xiu accepted the bottle with a smile, feeling the lingering warmth from his hands. It was as if he handed her not just a medicine, but his very heart.

Suddenly, the bottle seemed scalding to her touch, almost slipping from her grasp. She steadied herself, forcing her thoughts elsewhere, and thanked him politely, “Thank you, Little Marquis, for your concern.”

Sensing the sudden distance in her tone, Shen Yu gave a bitter smile. “Han Chu, must we really be like this?”

Chu Xiu feigned confusion. “Little Marquis, you are mistaken. I am Chu Xiu,” she paused, then added, “the widow of Marquis Lixin.”

At those words, despair flashed through Shen Yu’s dark, fathomless eyes. Chu Xiu didn’t know whether he was thinking of Yun Ci or someone else, but she believed she’d made herself clear. Besides, Shen Yu was not a man to pester her endlessly.

But this time, Chu Xiu was mistaken. Shen Yu had made up his mind, refusing to let either of them escape. He looked at her and asked directly, “If you avenge Wan Zhi, would you be willing to leave the Yun family and come away with me?”

Her gaze flickered, but without hesitation she answered honestly, “After learning the truth, I decided to live and die with him. Otherwise, I would not have lain in his coffin that day. Even if I cannot follow him to the afterlife, I will guard his legacy with unwavering loyalty.”

She spoke without a trace of doubt, and Shen Yu’s body stiffened at the words “unwavering loyalty.” Yet better a clean break than lingering pain—whether for her love of Yun Ci or the reputation of the Yun family, as a widow, she could not become too close to the legitimate son of the Marquis of Wenchang.

Shen Yu had anticipated her refusal and was undeterred. He gazed at her with open fervor and longing. “I know, from start to finish, all my hopes have been nothing but wishful thinking. First it was Helian Qi, now Wan Zhi… But I cannot resign myself to it. Once was enough to miss my chance, how could I let it happen again…”

He involuntarily stepped forward, wanting to touch her delicate hands, but she recoiled in alarm, evading him and leaving his hand suspended in midair.

His long, slender fingers hesitated for a moment, then withdrew. “Han Chu, this was Wan Zhi’s wish as well. He never wanted you to seek revenge for him, nor to remain a widow for his sake. He hoped you would live happily in the days to come, and I—”

“I am happy now,” Chu Xiu abruptly interrupted, her voice quiet but earnest. “To have married him, to have earned a place in the Yun family’s genealogy, is the greatest happiness of my life. As for anyone else, I will not spare them a glance.”

Having experienced a love so vast and magnificent, like beholding the most beautiful scenery, what other bond could ever compare to such devotion unto death?

Though Yun Ci was gone, the love he gave was so perfect, so unforgettable—no one else in the world could ever enter her heart.

Having once beheld the boundless sea, all other waters pale in comparison. With him, in life or death, this lifetime is enough.

Lost in thought, Chu Xiu felt tears threaten once more. She deliberately lifted her gaze to the plaque in the hall, trying to keep the tears from falling, and forced herself not to look at Shen Yu’s expression.

“Wan Zhi has only just passed away. It’s natural that you can’t let go, that you’re unable to move on,” Shen Yu persisted, unwilling to miss the slightest change in her demeanor. “I won’t give up anymore. I’ve let go twice before, but this time—for Wan Zhi’s sake, and for my own—I will not easily surrender.”

The woman before him, Han Chu, seemed born to be his curse—the reason he could never love another. He had tried to move on, indulged himself even more recklessly after she followed Yun Ci away from Zhuihong Court, but the longing and regret only grew, leaving him emptier than before.

He had met so many women—noble ladies, humble beauties, lively or gentle and virtuous—but none compared to her. Was he not, too, someone who could never love another after seeing the sea?

“I’ll wait for you,” he said solemnly, his patience unyielding, as if finally prepared for the long vigil. “No matter how long, no matter what you wish to do, I will wait. If you must remain loyal to Wan Zhi, I have no right to interfere... but I will wait.”

“Little Marquis.” Chu Xiu’s tears finally fell. “Why do you torment yourself so? I am not worth it. In this life, I—”

“Don’t say it, let me finish,” Shen Yu cut her off, desperate at the thought of missing yet another chance. “When I signed the marriage certificate as witness, I had already made up my mind. If you seek revenge, so be it, but if you ever need help, don’t refuse me…”

“Han Chu, don’t make me feel useless.” As he spoke, Shen Yu’s eyes grew red, struggling to contain the swell of emotion. “If you ever grow weary, just look back—I'll be here.”

At that, Chu Xiu immediately turned away, unwilling to let him see her weep. But her trembling shoulders betrayed her. Shen Yu circled to face her, his voice tinged with relief, “Han Chu, are you crying for me?”

He reached out slowly, as though to catch her falling tears. When she tried to dodge again, he quickly took hold of her arm, his voice hoarse. “Don’t cry, your shoulder hasn’t healed—it will pull at the wound.”

Chu Xiu could only sob quietly, not wanting to continue. “Please, Little Marquis, you should go. If we linger here, people will talk.”

The atmosphere grew thick and heavy. Shen Yu was silent for a moment, then sighed deeply. “No matter what you say, I’m not leaving this time. Earlier you asked where I’ve been these days? I’ve been looking at gardens…”

His determined words filled her ears, enveloping her. “I’ve already written to my father to inform him… From now on, I will live in Yanlan City.”

Live in Yanlan City… At that, Chu Xiu was stunned into silence, her tears forgotten. She looked up at him, anxious, “How would the Marquis of Wenchang allow it?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Shen Yu replied, regret flickering across his face. “Wan Zhi left behind a widowed mother and wife, and a great family estate. I told my father I wanted to stay and look after things. Because of Wan Zhi’s bad leg, the Marquis of Wenchang owes the Yun family a great debt. It’s only right for me to do my part. My father will not object.”

At this, Chu Xiu was at a loss for words. She wiped her tears, about to protest again when Shen Yu continued, “I’ve thought it through. Now that you are the widow of Marquis Lixin, my residing in the Yun family would harm your reputation… so I bought a garden nearby, just two streets away, close enough to look after you.”

“Little Marquis…” Chu Xiu could only choke on her words, not knowing whether she was moved by Shen Yu’s affection or wracked with guilt for being unable to repay it. She turned her face away, shaking her head helplessly.

“I told you, I won’t force you, but don’t refuse me either. Just let me wait. Even if only for Wan Zhi’s sake, I cannot leave so easily—let alone with you here.” Shen Yu suddenly smiled, with a hint of his old charm and roguishness, as if he were once again the carefree Little Marquis Shen: “Don’t try to persuade me to return to Jingzhou; you won’t succeed.”

By now, Chu Xiu knew she could not change his mind. “Does the Dowager Lady know?”

“She does,” Shen Yu replied readily. “I’ve already informed her. Once my new residence is ready, I’ll move out. Until then, I’ll stay in the Yun manor for another month.”

“The Dowager Lady… didn’t ask why you stayed?”

“She didn’t ask, nor does she need to.” Shen Yu continued smiling, unable to conceal a trace of sadness. “With her wisdom, how could she not see through it?”

After a moment’s thought, he added with a teasing tone, “I think the Dowager Lady also hopes I’ll stay. Perhaps having a trustworthy man around will put her at ease—and besides, my medical skills are quite good.”

Despite his awkward temperament, Shen Yu could be quite charming when he wished, especially with women. Chu Xiu was amused by his jest about the Dowager Lady, and though her face was streaked with tears, a smile appeared, lending her a certain captivating grace.

Shen Yu gazed at her, entranced. “Han Chu…”

At that, Chu Xiu’s smile faded away. “Han Chu is gone, Little Marquis. Please call me Chu Xiu.”

“No, I should call you ‘Madam Chu Xiu.’” Shen Yu was about to say more, but his eyes caught sight of Danxin’s figure.

“Madam, the young lady is here,” Danxin hurriedly reported, having deliberately interrupted their conversation for fear that Yun Xiangrong would misunderstand Chu Xiu’s relationship with Shen Yu.

Why had Yun Xiangrong come? Chu Xiu wondered, for she had never interacted with the Yun family’s young lady. But since she was here, Chu Xiu could not refuse her.

She exchanged a glance with Shen Yu, who, realizing he should avoid suspicion, said, “I’ll take my leave. Wipe your tears—if she asks…”

He had wanted to offer an excuse for Chu Xiu’s tears, but on second thought, with Yun Ci’s passing so recent, anyone would understand her grief for her late husband.

At that moment, Chu Xiu had no time for further words. She took the handkerchief Danxin offered and quickly dried her tears. Seeing this, Shen Yu said no more and stepped out of the reception hall. He had only just crossed the threshold when he found himself face to face with a girl of fifteen or sixteen—graceful and delicate, with refined features and distinctive brows. It was obvious she must be Yun Ci’s half-sister, the eldest daughter of the Yun family, Yun Xiangrong. A maid followed close behind.

Shen Yu hesitated, considering whether to greet her, but as they had never been introduced and propriety intervened, he decided against it.

Unexpectedly, Yun Xiangrong stepped forward, her cheeks flushed, and greeted him with a respectful curtsey. “Xiangrong pays her respects to the Little Marquis.”