Chapter 66: The Deep Night Breeds Fear and Love

"What... did you say?" Yun Ci's voice tightened, the words emerging with a hoarse edge. She actually wanted to leave with Yun Feng?

"I only wish to leave the Yun household now. If you still remember any trace of our... former bond, then let me go. After all, my wretched status is no longer fit to remain here—I'd only sully you by staying." Chu Xiu spoke calmly, without the slightest hint of resentment.

"You hate me so much? You're willing to ruin yourself?" The last glimmer of twilight flickered at the edge of his words, and then suddenly, nightfall descended, suffocating in its darkness.

Chu Xiu lifted her head to the sky, her heart a wasteland. "No. I don't hate you. Hating someone is too painful. Besides, I was the first to hide my identity from you... I made the first mistake."

"So, just to leave me and the Yun household, you're willing to give yourself to Yun Feng?" There was a faint, mocking note in Yun Ci's voice. "Don't forget, Yun Feng and his uncle are both Yun family servants—it's been that way for generations."

"What's the point of speaking of 'giving myself' now?" Chu Xiu found it almost laughable. "Steward Yun has proposed marriage twice; perhaps he's sincere. For someone like me, it's a blessing that he doesn't find me repugnant—whether as wife or concubine, it's still better than being a laundress in this washhouse, suffering endless ridicule and scorn."

Endless ridicule and scorn... It seemed she truly hadn't fared well. But this outcome was far from what Yun Ci had expected. He had thought Chu Xiu would prefer to return to Shen Yu, and so he had arranged things accordingly for her. As he tasted the bitterness of his own misjudgment, he could only ask again, "Is this truly what you want?"

The wind rattled the drying cloths, making them billow and flutter. Chu Xiu's voice drifted with the wind, so quiet it seemed to come from a soulless body: "The wise never waste time on hatred or regret; they leave quickly and begin again. I have stumbled twice now, with you and with Helian Qi, and now I wish to learn to be wise."

The wise never waste time on hatred or regret; they leave quickly and begin again... She spoke well—better than he had expected. In this moment, Yun Ci felt gratified. Chu Xiu was much stronger than he had imagined. Even if he hurt her again in the future, or failed her again, or even died suddenly, she would likely endure and survive.

He had once believed he could grant her at least half a lifetime of happiness. Never did he imagine that in what little time remained, even staying together would be a luxury beyond reach. Unable to give her wholehearted protection, he could only bring her pain.

Had he known their fate would come to this, he would rather... never have loved at all. At the very least, he would never have let it show.

But before he left, there was one last thing he had to do: arrange her future. Yet Yun Feng was by no means a worthy match.

So thinking, Yun Ci remained silent for a long time. Had there been any light left in the sky, Chu Xiu would have seen the sorrowful relief in his eyes. But Yun Ci had chosen to come at dusk's bitter end, wanting to see her one last time by the setting sun, and then let the darkness shroud his lingering yearning and love.

He succeeded. Chu Xiu spoke to herself, her gaze catching only a sweep of white—yet she no longer had the strength or clarity to look upon the face of that celestial figure in white.

At last, she was resigned. The explanation she had so long awaited had never come; only endless grievances and misunderstanding had arrived. She had endured enough of such days. She did not wish to hate, but neither did she wish to face it any longer. If she could not wait for Shen Yu’s redemption, perhaps she could save herself.

In this way, she owed no one too much.

Chu Xiu waited for Yun Ci’s reply, hoping for his consent. But after a long while, all she received was his decisive refusal: "Yun Feng is not acceptable. I cannot agree. I would rather you hate me than agree to it."

Chu Xiu could only give a bitter smile. "I truly cannot fathom your mind. You stand so high above, it's beneath you to argue with a lowly courtesan like me. My indenture is still in your hands—even if I marry Yun Feng, I am still a servant of the Yun family. Since we now despise each other, why not let me leave and forget one another? Would that not be better?"

Forget one another... So she could now utter those words with such composure. Yun Ci opened his mouth, but found himself powerless to argue, left only with pain. He was searching for some pretext to make her give up on Yun Feng, when suddenly Bamboo Shadow came running, panic-stricken, with Zhuo Yan following close behind, both faces anxious.

"My lord, the lady... she’s gone!"

Xia Yanran is missing? That means... Yun Ci’s face darkened instantly. He barked, "Speak clearly!"

Bamboo Shadow looked helplessly back; Zhuo Yan stepped forward, eyes red, her voice urgent: "My lord, this afternoon, the lady said she felt dizzy and nauseous, and wanted to take a walk. She didn’t want so many people trailing her, so she only let me accompany her. We walked a long way, then she said she felt cold and sent me back to Zhi Yan Pavilion to fetch a cloak. By the time I returned... the lady was gone."

"When did she disappear?" Yun Ci frowned, seizing on the key point.

By now, Zhuo Yan dared not conceal anything. "It’s been... an hour," she confessed.

An hour? Yun Ci calculated in his heart. Xia Yanran usually loved to dress up and rarely left the house—sometimes she could spend half a day before the mirror.

She never went out lightly, and now she’d been out so long without returning, even refusing attendants. It was out of character, especially as she was pregnant. With her proud and precious temperament, even heavily pregnant she’d normally be surrounded by attendants, lest any harm come to the child. Why would she go out alone? From Zhuo Yan’s account, it sounded deliberate—she’d purposely shaken off her attendants.

Missing for an hour—no matter how willful, this wasn’t Xia Yanran’s way. Yun Ci looked up at the pitch-dark sky, beginning to worry. His feelings for Xia Yanran were shallow, but she was still his wife, and the child she carried was his.

At this point, Yun Ci had no choice but to set aside his conversation with Chu Xiu. He ordered Bamboo Shadow, "Send more people. Search the entire household. Also question the guards at the main, side, and back gates—see if anyone saw her leave."

Night had fallen; searching would be difficult. If she wasn’t found tonight, it could only mean Xia Yanran, the Marchioness, had attracted the attention of someone lurking in the shadows. Perhaps the same person who had secretly poisoned with love-poison.

After all, Chu Xiu’s poisoning could only result in an illegitimate child; but if Xia Yanran, pregnant, gave birth, it would be a legitimate heir!

With that thought, Yun Ci cast a deep look at Chu Xiu, even in the darkness able to see the anxiety on her face. His eyesight had always been keen; it was this same sight, a year and a half ago, that had glimpsed the girl playing the zither at night, and from then on he had been lost.

Yun Ci suddenly felt a surge of relief—relief at his own coldness toward Chu Xiu, at having sent her to the humble washhouse. It proved his plan was correct: his treatment of her had lulled their hidden enemies, causing them to shift their attention to his wife!

He was not without guilt toward Xia Yanran, but there were things—and people—he valued more.

"You stay here. Go nowhere." Yun Ci ordered Chu Xiu coldly, signaling Bamboo Shadow to wheel him out of the washhouse to search for Xia Yanran.

The entire night, Chu Xiu obeyed Yun Ci's command and remained in the washhouse, sitting and waiting. Even without stepping outside, she could tell the Yun household was in an uproar. The shouts, the lanterns’ glow, filled her senses, making her heart pound with dread.

Chu Xiu dared not think: if Xia Yanran had not wandered off on her own, but had been abducted... then the target was surely Yun Ci, and the child she carried! Digging deeper, perhaps it was the Marquis’s position itself.

First the love-poison, now Xia Yanran’s inexplicable disappearance—someone wanted Yun Ci to be left without an heir!

This thought flashed through Chu Xiu’s mind, sending a cold shiver down her spine. She didn't know if Yun Ci had realized it too, but... she had to warn him—he was in danger! First they’d rob him of an heir, and next, perhaps take his life.

With this in mind, Chu Xiu could no longer sit still. She grabbed a lantern and hurried toward Zhi Yan Pavilion; if not there, she’d try Qing Xin Studio. No matter what, she had to warn Yun Ci.

It was nearly midnight. The estate was ablaze with light, guards and servants searching for Xia Yanran, each holding a lantern. Chu Xiu had barely stepped out of the washhouse when someone blocked her path.

"Miss, the Marquis ordered you not to go anywhere." A shadow guard leapt from the darkness, barring her way.

"I have something very important to tell the Marquis," Chu Xiu pleaded.

But the guard was steadfast. "Miss, please don’t make things difficult for me."

They argued for some time, neither willing to yield. In the midst of their dispute, the search cries from the estate suddenly quieted, gradually fading into silence.

Had they found her? Relieved, Chu Xiu stopped insisting on seeing Yun Ci, apologized to the guard, and returned to the washhouse.

At midnight, the washhouse was desolate and eerie. The place was already damp, but now a bone-deep chill and strangeness pervaded. Watching the colored silks and brocades fluttering on the drying racks, Chu Xiu felt as though she were surrounded by ghosts drifting through the underworld.

It felt unreal—and terrifying.

A foreboding dread rose in her heart, as if she sensed something dreadful was about to happen. She tried to calm herself, but the anxiety only grew stronger.

She kept warning herself not to let her imagination run wild, but then hurried footsteps sounded outside the washhouse. As the door opened, Qian Yun and Bamboo Shadow entered, lanterns in hand.

"The Marquis has summoned you to the Hall of Justice for questioning," they announced.

The Hall of Justice—again? Chu Xiu was confused, a chill running through her heart. She blurted out, "Has the lady been found?"

Qian Yun and Bamboo Shadow both wore grave expressions, Qian Yun’s usually cold face now bearing an almost unbearable look.

Chu Xiu’s heart clenched painfully. Before she could ask, Qian Yun choked out, "They pulled the lady’s body from the lotus pond in Jing Garden. There was a dagger stuck in her lower abdomen... The water had... rendered her unrecognizable."