Chapter 111: Affairs of the Heart Are Easily Changed, Flowers Quickly Fade (Part Two)

At the age of twenty... to marry... Chu Xi looked up at Shen Yu, only to find him gazing back with a knowing expression. Could he have overheard just now? After all, Hua Wuying’s voice was not soft, and Shen Yu had been standing right by the door. Chu Xi pressed her lips thoughtfully for a moment before speaking to retain her guest: “There are some things I want to discuss with you. Stay for dinner tonight.”

“All right,” Shen Yu readily agreed. Then, curious, he asked, “Just the two of us?”

Chu Xi was puzzled by his question. “Who else would there be? Cheng’er has to accompany the matriarch.”

Shen Yu smiled casually, “I thought you would have your second concubine join us.”

Chu Xi was speechless, lowering her gaze, unsure how to respond. She could only awkwardly say, “I’ll have Zhuying prepare hot water for your bath and call you when dinner’s ready.” Whenever Shen Yu finished teaching Yun Cheng martial arts, he would wash up here, change clothes, and return to his residence freshened up. This had become a habit.

“All right, I’ll go bathe and change first.” Shen Yu didn’t say much and, unlike before when he would linger to speak privately with Chu Xi, this time he left promptly.

At dinner, the atmosphere turned even more somber. Before, with Yun Cheng present, the three would always have something to say; even in silence, moods were light, and sometimes Shen Yu would break the quiet with small talk. But today, neither spoke.

After quietly eating for a while, Shen Yu suddenly said, “I want to drink tonight. You’ll have a few drinks with me.”

Chu Xi forced a smile, “Since the host hasn’t offered, how can the guest demand wine?” Still, she instructed Danxin to fetch the wine, dismissed the servants, and personally poured Shen Yu’s cup.

Without a word, Shen Yu downed the wine in one gulp, setting the cup down with a heavy clink. He raised his handsome eyes to Chu Xi: “Now you truly are the renowned matriarch of the Yun family... Lady Chu Xi.”

Three days ago, Chu Xi had officially taken on the responsibilities of matriarch from the dowager matriarch, a matter not yet made public. Shen Yu already knew, clearly told by Yun Cheng.

No wonder his spirits were low today, perhaps for this reason. Chu Xi pondered silently, unsure how to respond, so she changed the subject: “Our secret guards have sent word from Jingzhou. The Marquis of Wenchang’s condition remains stable. Don’t worry.”

Shen Yu’s grip on his cup tightened; after a long pause, he said, “Perhaps I should leave.”

“Huh?” His sudden words surprised Chu Xi, as if she hadn’t heard clearly. “What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Shen Yu poured himself another drink, drained it, then smiled bitterly: “I think I really should go. You no longer need my help, and if I stay here accomplishing nothing, the gap between us will only widen…”

His eyes were filled with helplessness—not despair exactly, but a faint hope that he knew could never ignite a great blaze: “Without leaving the Li Xin Marquisate, Lady Chu Xi cannot truly become the matriarch. Likewise, if I leave the Marquisate of Wenchang, I am nothing.”

His tone was self-mocking: “I should return. Jingzhou is my domain. Only under the emperor’s watchful eye am I the foster son of Emperor Tongsheng, the young Marquis Shen of the Wenchang household. Only by relying on these two identities do I deserve you. Not here in Fangzhou, a broken man under the constant surveillance of Prince Mu.”

“Young Marquis...” Chu Xi began to counsel him, but when he reached for his cup to pour her a drink, she quickly stopped his hand: “Drinking harms your health.”

Shen Yu’s hand holding the cup froze mid-air. He looked intently at Chu Xi’s delicate hand and slowly covered it with his other hand. The cool touch of her fingertips made him reluctant to let go, yet he had to.

Gently brushing her fingers aside, Shen Yu said, “Let me drink. I never want to appear weak before you, but tonight, I want to be weak.”

His gaze finally showed some emotion, bearing waves Chu Xi could not fathom: “Tonight, I’ll drink until dawn, and then, I won’t be the man I was.”

“Young Marquis...” Chu Xi was even more perplexed by the hidden meaning behind his words. Each sentence seemed laden with significance, yet left her clueless. “If you want to leave, you should stay sober. If you get drunk and confused, you might die on the road without knowing why!”

These words struck a nerve with Shen Yu. His expression darkened suddenly, and he set down his cup, looking at Chu Xi resolutely: “Yes, I must leave! Whether Father Marquis is truly ill or faking, I must go. I want to repay my filial duty to Father Marquis, to accomplish something... Hanchu, I cannot be a broken man.”

Chu Xi felt greatly reassured and said, “Who says you’re broken? You’re my benefactor.”

Shen Yu smiled sadly: “But I don’t want to be just your benefactor.”

Chu Xi lowered her eyes, unable to reply. Shen Yu laughed bitterly: “Don’t worry, I won’t say such things lightly again. Now, I’m not worthy of you—my status, position, abilities are all lacking. I don’t blame you for looking down on me; I’m far behind Wan Zhi and have no face to say these things.”

Chu Xi was relieved he had come to terms with himself, but he had more to say: “However, if one day I truly make a name for myself, like Wan Zhi or even better... then, I hope you won’t reject me from afar. I will be worthy of you, I promise.”

Those three definite words nearly made Chu Xi forget the purpose of inviting Shen Yu to stay for dinner tonight—Yun Xiangrong.

At this point, she found it increasingly difficult to bring up the marriage. Even if she didn’t mention it, Hua Wuying would find a way to pressure her, perhaps even confront Shen Yu directly…

Though Chu Xi selfishly wished Shen Yu had no ties with the Yun family and didn’t want to force him to marry a woman he disliked, it was undeniable that Shen Yu ought to wed soon. The Marquis of Wenchang was probably anxious already. Moreover, an alliance with the Yun family would likely please his father.

Most importantly, this marriage could save Shen Yu’s life. No matter how the situation in Nanxi changed, whether Prince Mu or Prince Fu prevailed, if Shen Yu became the Yun family’s son-in-law, it would only benefit him.

Chu Xi thought long and hard before finally steeling herself and biting the bullet: “Have you ever considered that among the three greatest unfilial acts, having no heir is the worst? If you truly want to honor the Marquis of Wenchang, your top priority should be to marry and have children, not just to make a name for yourself.”

Speaking these words made Chu Xi nervous, and she dared not meet Shen Yu’s gaze. As expected, he was silent for a long time before replying, “Let me find a way to get free first.”

That was true. If Shen Yu couldn’t leave Fangzhou, the marriage couldn’t proceed. Without parental consent or a matchmaker, they couldn’t just force him into the Yun household in Yanlan City. It had to wait until he was safe.

After a moment’s thought, Chu Xi finally dared to look up: “Young Marquis, rest assured. By the end of next month at the latest, I will help you leave Fangzhou.”

Shen Yu was surprised by her determination and worried about her methods: “How do you plan to do that?”

“I can’t tell you now.” Chu Xi took a sip of wine before continuing, “But I have a plan.”

Shen Yu didn’t press further, merely responding, “I trust you have the ability now.” From beginning to end, he should never have doubted her. Her intelligence always surpassed his—it was his own arrogance.

Chu Xi, unaware of Shen Yu’s inner turmoil, said, “Be patient a little longer. When the time is right, I will tell you.”

“All right.” He replied tersely.

Once loquacious at the wine table, the young Marquis Shen had grown taciturn. Sometimes, one could only sigh at how cruel time was. Everyone changed. She had transformed from a discarded courtesan to the renowned new matriarch of the Yun family, and a widow at that—though she was only seventeen.

Seasons changed, the world shifted. Temperaments, thoughts, and statuses could all change... but what they must strive to preserve was the one true heart remaining unchanged.

With this realization, Chu Xi suddenly felt enlightened and resolved to put aside the matter of Yun Xiangrong. She told herself she would give Hua Wuying an answer and find a good match for Yun Xiangrong, but that match would definitely not be Shen Yu.

Now, as Lady Chu Xi, holding the wealth and prestige of the world, she actually possessed very little. In this complicated, not quite pure relationship with Shen Yu—neither fully friends nor enemies—there were too many memories and feelings worth cherishing. She did not want to destroy it lightly.

Call her selfish or narrow-minded if you will. Though she didn’t exactly like Shen Yu, she would never want to hurt him. Forcing him to marry Yun Xiangrong might get his reluctant consent, but it would create a real rift between them.

She did not want Shen Yu to misunderstand that she was imposing a marriage for the Yun family’s sake. Perhaps one day, Shen Yu would understand that marriages among noble families were always accompanied by interests. When he could accept such a marriage calmly, she would arrange for him the most advantageous wife.

Only, Yun Xiangrong likely wouldn’t make the cut; perhaps Yun Muge could.

Thinking this, Chu Xi felt much relieved. The heavy stone that had pressed down on her heart for nearly two months finally lifted. Looking at Shen Yu, who was still drinking endlessly, she had to stop him again: “Why just drink? At least eat some food.”

Noticing two untouched dishes on the table, Chu Xi sighed and picked up a bite, offering it to him: “If you don’t eat, it will get cold.”

Shen Yu stared at the food she offered, then suddenly looked up at her. His expression deepened, impossible to tell if it was disappointment or sorrow.

Chu Xi’s heart skipped a beat; it felt as if she grasped a thought but also nothing at all. She looked at him blankly: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Shen Yu replaced his somber look with a clear, charming smile, as if the negative emotions had never existed. He lowered his eyes, picked up his chopsticks, and slowly ate the food Chu Xi had given him.

They drank a few more cups and finished the dishes on the table. Chu Xi hadn’t felt this joyful in a long time and spoke more than usual. Shen Yu, though consuming drink after drink, spoke less and less, finally only agreeing with her.

The night deepened. Chu Xi didn’t remember how the evening ended, only that she got drunk and her head felt heavy. She slept until dawn. Upon awakening, she suddenly couldn’t recall anything from the night before, only the sharp pain on her forehead reminded her she had truly overindulged.

For some reason, a foreboding feeling arose out of nowhere. Chu Xi sprang up from the couch, about to call someone when she heard cries and commotion outside. The voice was familiar—it was second concubine Hua Wuying.

Chu Xi intended to speak seriously with Hua Wuying, to persuade her and her daughter to give up their hopes on Shen Yu. She was about to summon Danxin for assistance when the latter rushed in hurriedly: “Madam! Last night, the young Marquis got drunk and mistakenly entered the eldest miss’s room... The second concubine is now outside making a scene and refusing to relent!”

The night’s peace shattered.